Today I begin chemotherapy to heal my body of cancer. I look to the darkness of chemo, its chemical concoction and its challenging side effects, to meet the shadow of my cancer face to face. Darkness and shadow will meet, will tangle, and will ultimately at some time in the future be overcome by clarity and lightness. I have faith that this journey will be both challenging and, in the end, life affirming.
The strength of my family and friends, my faith in the oneness of all things, and my breath and wild heart will get me through. Thank you for your love.
Here's a little Mary Oliver (my favorite poet) from her Cancer Poems to take me into this day.
THE FOURTH SIGN OF THE ZODIAC (PART 3)
I know, you never intended to be in this world.
But you’re in it all the same.
So why not get started immediately.
I mean, belonging to it.
There is so much to admire, to weep over.
And to write music or poems about.
Bless the feet that take you to and fro.
Bless the eyes and the listening ears.
Bless the tongue, the marvel of taste.
You could live a hundred years, it’s happened.
I am speaking from the fortunate platform
of many years,
none of which, I think, I ever wasted.
Do you need a prod?
Do you need a little darkness to get you going?
Let me be as urgent as a knife, then,
and remind you of Keats,
so single of purpose and thinking, for a while,
he had a lifetime.
It's time to get started.
(Photo by the lovely Leigh Miller.)